My girlfriend takes me by the hand and leads me down to the games room.
She gets on top of the snooker table and onto her hands and knees.
She's got on a skirt and I can see she's not wearing any knickers.
She says, "Pink or brown. Take your pick."
I said, "How the f**k can I play snooker when you're on the table?!"
The best engine in the world is the fanny.
It takes any size piston, is self lubricating, starts with one finger & every 4 weeks does its own oil change.
It's just a pity the management system is so f**king temperamental.