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Jokes

997K views 14K replies 155 participants last post by  toonmal 
#1 ·
Boy in the bath with his mum...

Boy says "Whats that hairy thing mum ?"....

Mum replies "Thats my sponge!".....

"Oh yes!"..Says the little boy...

"The babysitters got one, i've seen her washing dads face with it!"......
 
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#7,178 ·
More on the mask front;

Masks save lives!

Please put on your mask. It saves lives.

Yesterday a friend of mine went out with his girlfriend and on the way to the mall he passed by his wife and she did not recognize him.

The mask really saved his life.
 
#7,183 ·
For those concerned about the use of animal products in the manufacture of medical test kits, including Covid Lateral Flow ones the NHS has developed a new 'Pee Test' that you can easily conduct yourself;

NHS Free Organic Pathologist Test

Discreetly position yourself in front of a tree and take a leak:
  • If your pee attracts ants, you've got diabetes.
  • If it dries fast, your sodium is high.
  • If it smells like meat, your cholesterol is high.
  • If you forgot to unzip, it's Alzheimer's.
  • If you missed the tree, Parkinson's.
  • If you peed on your shoes, enlarged prostate.
    and finally...
  • If you can't smell it, COVID 19.
 
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