Kia Owners Club Forum banner
7041 - 7060 of 7073 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,555 Posts
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.

"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a hundred dollars more for the story behind it."

"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat."

The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a road drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another drain gulley, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked a mile, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant plots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt.

No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him.

Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.

Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah, you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.

"No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze sculpture of a politician"
 

·
Registered
Stonic 1st Edition
Joined
·
1,218 Posts
A police car was cruising late at night off the main highway. At nearly midnight, the officers see a couple in a car, in a dogging area, with the interior light brightly glowing. They stop and one officer approaches the car.

He as he approaches the car he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. Then he sees a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the officer walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.

The young man lowers his window. 'Uh, yes, Officer'? The officers asks: 'What are you doing?'

The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine.' Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the officer says: 'and what is she doing?'

The young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails.'

Now, the officer is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a dogging area and nothing obscene is happening! The officer asks: 'What's your age, young man?'

The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir.'

The officer then asks: 'And what's her age?'

The young man looks at his watch and replies:' She'll be 18 in 9 minutes.'
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
166 Posts
"The young man looks at his watch and replies:' She'll be 18 in 9 minutes"
Google tells me there are 13 states in the USA where the age of consent is 18.
I guess this joke is 'funny' in those states.
 
  • Like
Reactions: captain23
7041 - 7060 of 7073 Posts
Top