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I was sitting on a train the other day, when I overheard two 20-something males having a conversation. One said to his friend: "Mate you look tired, is everything OK."

His friend replied "Man I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She's after me 3 or more times a day, I feel completely worn out, and I just don't know what to do."

An older gentlemen of at least 70 also heard the conversation, so with the wisdom of years and experience said to the two men: "Marry her. That'll put a stop to that shit."
 

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An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.

The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of that bridge protecting us from the crocodiles and getting us safely over the river?"

The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely".

The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking, "Not good enough, forget that, I'm swimming"
 
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