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A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.



The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.



The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.



The women won.
 

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An American tourist in Spain goes to a restaurant and notices another guy eating some weird thing. He calls the waiter and says, "Excuse me. Can I have that same dish, please?"

The waiter says, "No sir, You can't."

He asks, "Why not?" Waiter:

"Because, sir, they are the balls of a bull." Man: "So what? I want them!"

Waiter: "No, sir. You don't understand. Here in Spain, bullfights occur, and the balls of the bull are chopped off and supplied to our restaurant, so we get only one pair of bull's balls a day. If you like, I'll reserve the next pair for you." Man: "Okay, I'll come back tomorrow."

The next day, the man goes in and is served a pair of small balls. Outraged he asks, "What the hell is this! Yesterday's balls were much bigger!" Waiter : You don't understand something, sir. Sometimes the bull wins."
 

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The dangers of drinking tea

Tea is more dangerous than beer. You should avoid it, and just say NO.

I discovered this last night. I had drunk 14 beers, until 3:00 am at the pub, while my wife was sitting at home, drinking tea.

You should have seen how angry and violent she was when I got home.

I was peaceful, silent, and heading to bead as she shouted at me... All Night Long. Even into the next morning!

Please, ladies.... If you can't handle your tea, then just don't drink it!
 

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Just giving my male married friends the heads up, my wife asked me today if there's anything she could do to stop the stairs creaking I said 'Slimming World' which I'm now sure was the wrong answer! I will be back on line in a couple of days when the swelling goes down on my eyes...................
 

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A tall, strong and handsome Roman soldier broke into a house where he found two luscious maidens and their matronly nurse.

Chuckling with glee, he roared, "Prepare thyselves for a conquest, my pretties."

The lovely girls fell to their knees and pleaded with him, "Do with us as thou wilt, O Roman, but spare our faithful old nurse."

"Shut thy mouth," snapped the old nurse. "War is war."
 
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