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Ford to merge with Renault in Europe

With the Euro going down after Brexit, Ford and Renault have agreed a merger.

Ford has announced plans to merge with French auto maker Renault to Form Ford-Renault Euro Ltd and their engineering teams have already joined forces to create the perfect small car to meet the needs of the European market - especially women.

The motoring press have been given the opportunity to try out the production prototypes and their initial reports are not at all flattering.

Mixing the Renault “Clio” and the Ford “Taurus” names, they have designed the “Cli-taurus”. It comes in pink and the average male car thief won't be able to find it, let alone turn it on, even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

It was found that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.

New models may initially be fun to own, but found to be very costly to maintain and horribly expensive to get rid of.

Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but will eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and it was found that the curb weight typically increases with age.

The manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the rear end increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.

This model is not expected to reach collector status.

Most male owners are likely to find it is best to lease one, and replace it as needed
 

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As I walked down the busy footpath with my wife, knowing I was late for the Church Service, my eyes fell upon one of those unfortunate ragged vagabonds that are found in every city these days.

Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them.

Recalling our old vicar who always admonished me to "care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked", I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.

Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying her treasured worldly possessions in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person's condition.

Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a true, hidden beauty.

A small voice inside my head called out, "Reach out....reach out. .. .and touch this person!"



 

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There is a psychological distinction between Guts and Balls.

We've heard colleagues referring to people with Guts, or with Balls. Do they, however, know the difference between them?

Here's the official distinction; straight from the British Psychology Dictionary: Volume 323; page 295.

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: "You're next, Chubby".

I trust this clears up any confusion.



Psychologically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome; both are fatal.
 

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Meghan Markle was visiting a primary school and visited one of the class rooms. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked Meghan if she would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy".

So the attention seeking soap star asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and said: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'".

No," said Meghan, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained Meghan "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent, no other children volunteered.

Meghan searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?"

Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand...In a quiet voice he said: "If the aeroplane carrying you and your husband was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Meghan. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," said Johnny "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either....
 
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