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I got an odd-job man in. He was useless. Gave him a list of eight things to do and he only did numbers one, three, five and seven.

After finding 5 Mars bars, 3 Snickers, a Flake and a packet of m&m's I'm starting to think I'm not cut out to be a bounty hunter.

Did you know that the good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately.

I went shopping last weekend and asked the assistant, “Where is the underwear section.” He said, “It’s under there.” I said, “Under where?” He said, “I heard you the first time.’

Finally: Following on from the above incident, in the same shop in the same department, I overheard someone say to the assistant, “My name is Fronts and I want to buy some briefs.” The assistant said, “Y-fronts?” he replied, “None of your business.
 

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Registered
Picanto 1.0T GDi GT-Line
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923 Posts
I watched a film last night about a man who broke his leg, to be fair the story was not brilliant but the cast was amazing!



BBC News : Police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion,

I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.



I'm fuming ... just been to the garage to put some air in my tyres and they've put the price up from 50p to a pound.

That's inflation for you.



A man walks into a dentists surgery and said

"Can you help me? I think I'm a moth".

The dentist replied 'You don't need a dentist, you need a psychiatrist'.

The man said 'I know'.

The dentist asked 'Then why come in here?'

The man said 'The light was on'.



Finally, I found out today what you call a fish with 32 eyes? Its a fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish....not a lot of people know that!
 
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